The Dementia Whisperer – reviewed
The Dementia Whisperer: Scenes from the frontline of caring
Author: Agnes Juhasz
Publisher: Hammersmith Press, 2016
RRP: £12.99 hardback; £3.79 Kindle edition (link to Amazon.co.uk will open in a new browser window)
Review by: Laura Graham
The Dementia Whisperer, originally published in the author’s native Hungary in 2014 has just been published here in the UK and is a wonderful book about living with dementia from the perspective of a passionate and dedicated professional carer, Agnes Juhasz.
With many years’ experience of working with people affected by dementia, Juhasz’s book offers a useful beginner’s guide to others working in the care industry or to family members who might be caring for someone recently diagnosed or suspected of having dementia.
Learning to interpret mood and behaviour
Juhasz shares her experience via diary entries from her time where she was a live-in carer for the glorious Sylvia. By using lived examples of the challenges faced by carers, the reader is helped to understand and employ some useful coping strategies. For example, Juhasz states that criticism and negative comments from the person with dementia to the carer should not be taken personally but could be a symptom of discomfort in the person who is unable to express such. She advocates a “multiple stage” technique which she has found to be useful in unravelling the reasons for a sudden change in mood or behaviour. This involves checking for an unmet physical need (such as needing the loo, being uncomfortable or bored); assessing whether the person may be tired and needs some rest; or is experiencing “sundown syndrome” – increased agitation later in the day where the person may be weary after a difficult day, causing their ability to focus on any one thing to decrease.
Caring for someone with dementia is challenging
During her career, Juhasz developed her care roles around person-centred approach and she is clear that each person with dementia is unique. For professional carers, this means really getting to know the person and she acknowledges that providing care for a person with dementia is not for the faint hearted. In fact, I was most impressed by Juhasz’ brutally honest account of how she has felt bored and frustrated in the career that she loves, and has often questioned her own motives in seeking “empty victories” in a cruel comment she has made in revenge for an earlier difficult situation. She notes this as being human but highlights the pointlessness of this as it only serves to create another difficult situation. Instead, she highlights the need for a short break away from the person, even just stepping out the room for a few minutes can help, and details how to do this without upsetting or compromising the safety of the person with dementia.
A wonderful story, beautifully told
Juhasz’ passion for her role as a professional carer for people with dementia shines through the entirety of this book. It is a refreshing read and very naturally dispels many fears that people may have about living with dementia. Her love for Sylvia is present in her writing, and as a reader, their special relationship through Sylvia’s dementia journey is fascinating. A wonderful story, beautifully told in this highly readable and useful book.
A more peaceful and predictable world
Juhasz says that being a carer has changed her as a person where she has developed an advanced level of self-control and now works using “consciously chosen conduct”. She believes that being a carer has helped to develop her finest traits. Of dementia specifically, she says,
“It appears that the world of people with dementia has become more predictable and peaceful for me than the real world, as there is no ill will, even in the most challenging behaviour. These lovely people give their love and smile unconditionally, they never manipulate or cheat, or at least that is never their principle intention, whereas the real ‘normal’ world is full of unpleasant behaviour”.
The author is a wonderful person and her book is a generous outpouring of useful information, love and hope.
Further resources
We have an section of Independent Living dedicated to products and services to help a person living with dementia or cognitive impairment
The Essential Guide to Avoiding Dementia – read our review of Mary Jordan’s book here
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